what i did today up until dinner

Woke up around 9. Made coffee. Wrote for at least an hour. Heard the girls yell “papa frita.” Got back in bed with them.¹ Told them I had to work 30 minutes more. Started working on remix of TV show idea. Felt anxious. Distracted myself with internet literary magazines. Read about an HBO show called ‘How to Make it in America’ that looks fucking terrible. Went back to show idea remix.  Felt as if  I was trying to describe my life and other people’s lives in terms that didn’t seem true. Started feeling depressed. Felt like I wasn’t ‘doing enough.’ Drank more coffee. Realized that more than an hour had passed. Pretended I was listening to what Layla and Lau were saying when they came into the kitchen. Started fighting with Lau. Hugged Lau. Thought ‘fuck the show idea.’ Put Layla on the back of the bike and rode to the feria . Stood near kid from Montevideo playing sick Candombe rhythms and singing.  Held Layla’s hand and listened to three songs. Thought about one of the lyrics that talked about los negros pobres. Thought how it was a white dude signing it and how in N. America this could seem strange but down here it was all in the flow. Watched a poor-looking gaucho say something to the kid and then give him a cigarette. Kept standing there with Layla holding her hand. Asked her if she wanted to go see stuff in the feria. Walked with her holding her hand through the crowd and felt very happy. Bought a small basket of blackberries and raspberries. Bought a large paper cone of french fries. Sat on in the up on a concrete step and ate the berries and the french fries very slowly without saying much but just watching people walk by. Looked for something to buy for mamá’s birthday. Worried about money. Started feeling very hot and tired. Bought two more baskets of strawberries and raspberries to take home. Rode home passing strawberries back to Layla. Came home. Wrote emails.  Tweeted about kid playing Candombe. Thought ‘there’s nothing else I want to tweet about.’ Sat out in the backyard with Lau and drank mate. Went to land with two fenceposts strapped to the bike. Got the back 2 corner fence posts set. Came back home. Drank water. Checked the computer for a second and felt nervous for some reason. Went back to the land with 2 more fenceposts. Ran a stringline between the two corners. Set the other two posts. Felt very engaged in what I was doing. Felt like it was so good not being on the computer. Said “fucking computer” to myself when I thought this.

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¹ – Should’ve stayed longer.

  • http://wayworded.blogspot.com/ Hal Amen

    2 fenceposts at a time.

  • http://www.lolaakinmade.com Lola

    Totally with you. I detest that this high tech world of constant plugging in has truly unplugged (or is slowly unplugging) us from life.

  • http://www.candicedoestheworld.com Candice

    I also said “fucking computer” many times this weekend. And never looked back.

  • http://simonegorrindo.wordpress.com/ Simone Gorrindo

    love how you captured the shifting moods of the day, how so much can happen internally and subtly on a sunday. i feel you about the fucking computer, worry about the shift it’s causing — giving us a newfound freedom, but taking some of the old, simple ones away. expanding the gap between the interior and exterior, making it harder to feel who we are and why we’re here. it sounds like a pat question, but i wonder sometimes if it’s really worth it.

    loved the moment of passing strawberries to layla. your writing makes parenthood seem beautiful. it always seems to be layla who’s bringing you back to the moment at hand.

  • David Miller

    ‘your writing makes parenthood seem beautiful.’

    this is a beautiful compliment simone, thanks.

    parenthood has created the most powerful emotions i’ve ever felt.

    it’s so damn wonderful and scary.

    you watch them grow and see them ‘gaining energy’ each day

    and you can feel your energy going away too

    you can feel yourself getting older

    and you can feel it all happening faster

    you start to ‘see how things might go’ as you get much older and they get older

    and this is always like a gift somehow

    even when it turns out differently than you ‘saw’ it.

    differently and worse, but better too.

  • brandon

    i liked reading this

  • David Miller

    thanks man.